


Just Keep Breathing

by amoleofmonsters



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash Lynx Lives, Domestic Fluff, First Time Blow Jobs, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 01:16:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16923849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amoleofmonsters/pseuds/amoleofmonsters
Summary: “Yeah, I want you to teach me how to give a blowjob. As in, teach me how to give you a blowjob. I’m the one sucking you off, not the other way around. I want to make you feel good.”Ash stares at Eiji, dumbfounded, and wonders, not for the first time, how he got so lucky.Years later, Ash finds himself living in a tiny apartment with Eiji.





	Just Keep Breathing

**Author's Note:**

> I know these boys don't get one, but they deserve a happy end. 
> 
> Requested by an anon on tumblr:
>
>> smut prompt: eiji asks ash to teach him how to suck someone off ;)))
> 
> It ended up being more romantic and sappy than actually sexy, sorry! 
> 
> Follow me on [tumblr](http://sharkrinsoup.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/sharkrinsoup)! And feel free to send me more fic requests on either of those platforms!

During weak moments, the memories creep up on Ash, smothering his thoughts with demon-like claws. When he closes his eyes, he swears he can still see Dino’s smirking face behind his eyelids. He can feel callous hands and harsh glares on his skin; it takes him back to when he was just a terrified child ill equipped to handle the harsh world he had been tossed into. He still sometimes finds himself blindly scrambling for a gun that isn’t there. 

But with every passing year, it gets easier. None of it consumes him anymore. He no longer watches his back every time he leaves his apartment. He enrolls himself in college classes and their stress is nothing compared to what he’d been through. Instead, it’s a good distraction. It helps that Eiji is rarely farther than the other end of their small, New York apartment. The people who could hurt them are either long dead or too stupid to ever figure out that Ash is basically still under their nose. For the first time in his life, Ash can stop bottling up his trauma and heal. He lets himself get absorbed into the monotonous happiness of daily life.

Through all of it, Eiji proves time and time again just how patient and kind he is. He moved into Ash’s matchbox apartment immediately and, after the first night of nightmares, they elected to share a bed. It was only another week before they kissed each other across the dinner table. Words like “boyfriend” and “significant other” are never thrown around, but Ash is no idiot. He was never good at pretending he wasn’t head over heals for Eiji, anyway. 

Ash comes home from the library one chilly Thursday to find Eiji curled up asleep on their ratty couch, the TV blasting some late night game show. Ash drops his bag onto the floor and leans down to press a soft kiss to Eiji’s forehead. Eiji shifts, his eyes sliding open. Ash feels tender warmth spread across his chest and he smiles. “Hey, sleeping beauty. I don’t want to wake you, but if I let you sleep here all night, you’re gonna be really mad at me in the morning.” 

Eiji rolls his eyes and even in the dim light of the TV, Ash doesn’t miss the soft blush that blooms on his cheeks. “Well, whose fault is it for coming home so late that I fell asleep?” Ash feels a tug on his jacket and he lets Eiji pull him into a sleepy kiss. He melts into Eiji’s arms with ease, knowing that there was nowhere in the world he would rather be. 

When they finally split apart, Ash taps his forehead to Eiji’s and says, “How was your day?” 

Eiji hums and Ash is close enough that he can feel it against his face. “I accidentally forgot to charge my camera last night and it died half way through the shoot. I got a lot of good shots, but having to stop half way was pretty annoying. How was class?” 

Ash shrugs. “The usual, you know? On Thursdays, I have that one class run by that egotistical grad student that doesn’t know how to lecture to save his life.”

“Well, you only have to deal with him for a few more weeks. Only I’m allowed to be that big of a pain in the ass to you.” 

Ash laughs, and kisses Eiji once more. “I also can’t do this to the professor when he is.”

Eiji grins. “No, you definitely can’t.” 

Ash stands up and pulls Eiji up with him. “Come on, I think it’s time for bed.” Eiji helps Ash pull his jacket off of his shoulders and it’s abandoned next to the couch along with Ash’s sneakers. They head towards the bathroom, helping each other pull off clothes in between kisses. The only thing Ash misses about the old, massive apartment he’d hidden out in while spying on Dino is the showers. The heating in their current building dates back decades before either Ash or Eiji were born and it takes about that much time for the shower to heat up. More than just because of desired intimacy, Ash and Eiji started showering together as a way of surviving the frigid ice water that poured from the tap. 

Once completely naked, Eiji reaches in to turn on the water before jumping back to avoid the frost. Ash sticks out his tongue and says, “Don’t you think you should be used to this by now, old man?” 

Eiji sticks his tongue out right back and waves towards the shower. “After you.” Ash reaches into the shower and splashes the freezing water towards Eiji, who yelps and jumps back away from it. Ash slaps his icy hands to Eiji’s stomach, making him scream. “Ash! Stop! Or else I’m never going get in there and you’re going have to deal with all of my sweat all over the bed.” 

Ash laughs. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” He’s not at all sorry, and it’s obvious that Eiji knows that by the roll of his eyes. Eiji takes Ash’s hand and the two of them step under the spray, the ice water falling over them. Immediately, Ash brings his hands to Eiji’s hair, pulling the pads of his fingers across Eiji’s scalp. They wash each other, huddled as close as possible, and pause every so often to kiss the other’s chattering lips. 

By the time they’re washing the conditioner out of their hair, the water begins to warm ever so slightly. As Ash’s body begins to defrost, he slides his thumb along Eiji’s hipbone and raises his eyebrow, a silent offer. Their tiny, depressing bathroom is one of the few places Ash lets himself seek out sexual intimacy. While they had touched each other in other places in the apartment, Ash has less painful memories associated with showers and they often got each other off pressed close under the spray. However, this time, Eiji brushed Ash’s hand away and leaned his head on Ash’s shoulder. “Hey, Ash... uh...” Ash can feel the nervous energies emanating off of Eiji and nods in encouragement. “I was thinking we could try something? But only if you’re comfortable with it.” 

Ash smiles down at Eiji. “I trust you more than anyone in the world. You know that, right?” 

Eiji nods against Ash’s shoulder. “I was wondering... if you could teach me how to give a blowjob? I’ve been curious for a while.” 

Ash feels something cold and rotten curl up in his stomach. He pushes it down, telling himself he’s being unreasonable. This is Eiji. Eiji would never hurt him. Eiji is all soft touches and kind words. Eiji loves him and this is something that lovers do. It’s normal for him to ask. Ash should have expected it. 

Ash realizes he’s frozen up when Eiji does as well, but before Eiji can say anything, Ash drops down to his knees, his body moving on autopilot. He stares at Eiji’s cock, half hard against his thigh and reaches for it, but a second later, it’s Eiji’s face that’s in front of him and Eiji’s hands on his cheeks. “Ash! Ash, what are you doing?”

Ash’s mouth feels dry even though they’re under the spray of a shower. “Y-you wanted me to teach you how to give a blowjob so I am.” 

“Yeah, I want you to teach me how to give a blowjob. As in, teach me how to give you a blowjob. I’m the one sucking you off, not the other way around. I want to make you feel good.” 

Ash stares at Eiji, dumbfounded, and wonders, not for the first time, how he got so lucky. “But what about you?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m not asking and if you offer, I’m not accepting. At least, not right now. But if you’re not okay with this, forget I said anything.” 

Ash resists the urge to cry. It would ruin the mood for sure, if he hasn’t ruined it already. “I... I’ve never... no one’s ever tried... I mean...” He centers himself and takes a deep breath. “I’m definitely okay with this.” 

Eiji wraps his arms around Ash’s shoulders and presses their foreheads together. “You tell me what to do and I’ll do my best to do it, okay?” 

“O-okay. Uh... let’s get out of the shower first.” Ash knows better than anyone how terrible the ground can be on the knees. 

The two of them climb out of the shower and towel off. Eiji pulls on a pair of underwear and then leads Ash to the bed. Ash straddles Eiji’s hips and kisses him. Ash finds himself engrossed once more with everything that is Eiji: the way his fingers lightly tug at Ash’s hair; the way he smiles and giggles against Ash’s mouth; the way his warmth wholly envelopes Ash until there’s nothing else but Eiji in his universe. Eiji gives Ash one final kiss before pulling back with a smile. “I love you. You know that?” 

“Of course. And I love you, too.” 

“And because I love you, I’m going to need you to get off of me and roll onto your back. Letting you sit on my face right away might be a bit ambitious.” 

Ash bites the tip of Eiji’s nose lightly. “Pervert.” He rolls off of Eiji and onto his back as instructed. Eiji appears over him and presses a sheering kiss to Ash’s jaw. He begins moving down Ash’s body, taking care to leave a trail of soft kisses as he goes. When he makes it to his destination, he takes Ash in his hand and looks up at him, waiting. Ash nods. 

Eiji stares at Ash. “What should I do? Talk me through this.” 

Ash blinks down at Eiji before his eyes go wide. “R-right, sorry! Um... okay, so what you’re probably going to wanna do is start by teasing me. You know, use your tongue.” 

Ash feels Eiji lick along his length and he can’t contain a soft gasp that escapes his mouth. Eiji cups Ash’s balls in his hand and gives them a soft squeeze before continuing to lick along Ash’s shaft. After a moment, he looks up expectantly. “Is that okay?” 

“Y-yeah,” says Ash. He bites his lip. “If you want to... put the head in your mouth, that would be good.” 

Eiji nods enthusiastically and Ash feels the head of his cock enveloped in warmth. Eiji slides his tongue along the underside in a way that makes Ash see stars. He feels Eiji start to take more of him into his mouth and he squeezes Eiji’s forearm. “Don’t push yourself. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Eiji pulled off of Ash with a pop that Ash swears echoes through the bedroom. “But doesn’t deep throating feel good?” 

“No!” Ash feels a hot blush creep up to his face, but he pushes down the embarrassment. “I mean, probably, but I’m not going to feel good if I hurt you. If you wrap your hand around the part you’re not putting in your mouth, it will feel good, too.” He tries not to think of strong hands shoving him down until he can’t breath. 

Eiji puts the head of Ash’s cock back into his mouth and wraps his hand around the shaft. He slides his tongue across the skin and then pulls back. “Like that?” 

Ash feel like he’s already falling apart, but he drags himself out of his daze to say, “Yeah, that’s perfect. Just like that.” 

Eiji begins to bob his head up and down and Ash feels himself slide into a haze of pleasure. He rests his hand on Eiji’s forearm, desperate for any contact that he can get. Usually, when they’re intimate, Eiji is pressed close and all Ash needs to do is focus on his face, but like this, Ash feels vulnerable. It’s not a bad kind of vulnerable, nothing ever is with Eiji, but it still makes Ash feel exposed and scared. He soldiers through it, letting the feeling of Eiji’s warm mouth overtake him. 

“Ash, am I doing okay?” asks Eiji, pulling off without any notice. 

Ash resists the urge to press Eiji’s head back down, and he feels sick for even thinking it. He silently debates stopping Eiji, but the patient excitement on Eiji’s face reminds Ash that Eiji wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t want to. “God, Eiji, you have no idea what you’re doing to me. You’re doing so good.” 

Eiji grins. “You went quiet. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” 

“Perfect. Amazing. God, just... please...” Ash knows he’s begging, but he doesn’t care. 

Eiji blushes, but thankfully listens to Ash. Ash pushes his hand through Eiji’s hair, making sure not to use force so Eiji doesn’t feel trapped. Eiji tightens his grip and Ash moans, throwing his head back against the bed. “Fuck, Eiji!” He begins repeating Eiji’s name like a mantra, drunk on the feel of skin on skin. Pretty soon, his world narrows to the feel of Eiji’s mouth on him. He feels a familiar tightness coil and he can’t stop himself from rocking into Eiji’s mouth as a gust of pleasure burns through him. He can’t move, completely at the mercy of Eiji. 

The next thing he registers is the feeling of a familiar touch on his cheek. Slowly, he opens his eyes to peer up at the soft, smiling face of Eiji. He feels Eiji slide his thumb along his cheek and he realizes its wet. “Hey, sleeping beauty. You okay? I thought I lost you there for a moment.” 

Ash lets his vision focus on Eiji. His first thought is that he wants to kiss him, so he does. He tries to wrap his arm around Eiji’s shoulders and pull him down, but he realizes he’s shaking. He feels far away, as if he’s looking down from ceiling instead of lying on the bed. 

“Hey, Ash, you don’t have to move. That looked like it took a lot out of you.” 

“Wanna... you... kiss...”

“W-what?” Eiji’s face is beat red. “You don’t want to do that. My mouth is gross right now.” Ash notices for the first time the white trail at the corner of his mouth and the wadded up tissue in his hand that isn’t touching Ash’s face. 

“Hmm... don’t care.” This time, Eiji sighs and gives in to Ash’s demand. Ash is still too shaky to deepen the kiss, but he eagerly accepts it. He can faintly taste himself on Eiji’s lips, but doesn’t care when the most amazing man in the world is kissing him. He whispers, “I think it’s your turn now.” 

Eiji laughs and rolls his eyes. “I told you, I’m not asking.” 

“I just wanna use my hand. I want to make you feel good, too.” 

“Ash, you’re still shaking. No offense, but I really don’t want you to accidentally rip my dick off. There’ll be other times where you can return the favor. We have all the time in the world. Just relax, okay?” 

Ash wants to fight Eiji, but he knows that he’s right. He sighs and settles into the bed, nudging Eiji to join him. Eiji throws the tissue towards the garbage and grabs Ash’s blue college hoodie off of the floor. He helps Ash pull it on over his head, and then settles down onto the bed next to Ash. Ash pulls Eiji towards him with all of the strength that he can muster and tucks his head under Eiji’s chin. He feels Eiji press a kiss to the crown of his head. “I love you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’m sorry that I never let things be easy.” 

He feels a soft chuckle rumble in Eiji’s chest. “If I wanted things to be easy, I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you. I love you, too, Aslan Jade Callenreese.” 

Ash settles into the warmth of their embrace as the exhaustion of the day takes over. As he drifts off, he thinks that with Eiji’s help, he’ll be okay one day. One day, his past won’t haunt every decision he makes. One day, he’ll be able to return Eiji’s favor with interest. For now, he’s content with the small milestones he does reach. As long as Eiji is by his side, he can do anything. 

A calm settles over the apartment, and everything is right in their little world.


End file.
